I do not care

I’m back, I think. With a new laptop on the way, I’ll be blogging again; with renewed force.

I have sailed upon the seas of cognitive exploration, and guided by a few well-seasoned sailors, have hit upon the shores of free-thinking. I have not quite adapted to the local culture, but I am liking it immensely and certainly plan on settling down indefinitely.

What that means is that I don’t give a fuck what people think anymore.

Now that sounds emo and possibly suicidal, but it really isn’t at all. Instead of this stark maroon and black landscape of sharp pointy thorns and horrific creatures from the furthest reaches of the abyss, it’s actually a sprawling landscape of beauty and floaty, (almost trippy) freedom.

There are lots of unicorns here, and unlike the kind you see in popular culture, what they say actually make sense.

I got into a very well-informed debate with a particularly sparkly unicorn (His name’s George); about the inclinations of people to conform to society, and the large amounts of pressure the average dude is subjected upon by the legions of elite-minded corporations who seek to create a new form of dictatorship in this new modern age, and the real meaning of hope.

He said, “fuck hope.”

I have decided that I like the unicorns very much indeed.

Cowardice

I am still afraid to say what I mean.

I like being liked, I don’t want to offend anyone.

I am ashamed.

Which came first?

Idea by Bruce. 15 mins in Fireworks MX.

Would you wear this?

“I would.”
- Daryll Disa James Nanayakara

Heritage @ Citi logo draft

A draft for the Heritage @ Citi logo I'm designing

SG Flyer icon set

Icon set; probably won't be used

MRTip-toe

A man on the train treaded on my shoes today.

He was quite old, and struggled to stand amidst the masses of pulsating life packed into the tiny train compartment.

I was sweating, and uncomfortable, and the old man made me angry.

I almost elbowed him. It seemed so easy, so convenient, and so appropriate.

Every morning, I am  squeezed to the edge of my patience by 9,092,134 other people who I’ve never, and have no desire, to meet. And incidentally I hate them all (probably because I never get squeezed next to a good-looking girl).

But perhaps this demonstrates my youthful ignorance. I felt nothing but hatred towards the old man, and it took everything I had in me (that hasn’t already been squeezed out) to stop me from clobbering the life out of him.

I still felt anger stirring in my guts when I exited the train, and I wanted to punch the short bastard who was racing me to the gates by way of carefully disguised brisk-walk.

But now I’m fine. And I feel bad for feeling so angry towards everyone.

I’m sorry, I love you all.

I’m fine now.

Although…

my toes still hurt.

Today

I didn’t bring my earphones to work.

I don’t know how I shall survive 8 hours of 98.7FM.

Goodbye cruel world.

The Worst of You

Public transport brings out the worst in people.

If Sigmund Freud ever tried boarding a train from Jurong East towards the city in the mornings, he’d have completed his theory on inner suppressed aggression in humans 20 years earlier.

I hate everything.

You don’t commit suicide because you’re sad or lonely.

You commit suicide because you’re angry.

Heaven’s Not Enough

Satisfaction and contentment leads to a dormant heart.

The perpetual hunt for happiness drives us.

Not necessarily forward, but we are moved by it.

So do we forever deny ourselves of happiness, so we might move?

I hope not. I like being happy.

What do we do then?

If I knew the answer, I would be content.

Possibly.